


The Wisdom of Frodo

by Ink_Gypsy



Series: Grandmother Wood Universe [1]
Category: LOTR RPS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-25
Updated: 2010-02-25
Packaged: 2017-10-07 13:24:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/65562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ink_Gypsy/pseuds/Ink_Gypsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Sean chooses to spend Christmas with his family instead of him, Elijah goes home to Iowa to visit his grandmother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Wisdom of Frodo

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Frodosweetstuff](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Frodosweetstuff).



> Written for the Waymeet "Get Cracking" Challenge, December 2006, inspired by an alleged Elijah sighting on Christmas Eve 2006 in Iowa City, where he was supposedly visiting his grandmother.

I had such high hopes for Christmas. I know it was foolish, but I'd actually allowed myself to believe that it could be different this year, that Sean and I might be able to spend the entire day together for once instead of just stealing a few hours either before or after the holiday. Of course things didn't work out the way I'd planned, and I just couldn't face staying home alone. There were a dozen things I could have done, friends I could have called, clubs I could have gone to, but Christmas has always been a special holiday for me, so I followed an impulse and I took the first flight out to Iowa.

Before we moved to California, we always spent Christmas at my grandparents' house. Christmas in Iowa is like a Currier and Ives print or a Norman Rockwell _Saturday Evening Post_ cover, and even though I was too embarrassed to admit it to any of my friends when I grew older, that very corniness was what appealed to me then, and what still appeals to me now. We celebrate Christmas in California, but warm ocean breezes and white sands are no substitute for snow, and snow is what I missed the most when our family moved to the West Coast. I can't remember a time during my childhood in Iowa when we didn't have a white Christmas, and as if on cue, it began snowing as I got out of the cab in front of my grandmother's house. Gram had always made me feel safe and loved, and even though it had been years since I'd been there, those warm feelings returned as soon as I climbed the porch stepped and rang the doorbell.

"Merry Christmas, Gram," I greeted her when she opened the door.

"Elijah?" I watched her expressive blue eyes -- _my_ eyes -- widen in surprise then light up with delight and finally cloud with worry. "Elijah, what are you doing here? Is something wrong? Is it your mother? Or Zach or Hannah?"

I took her hands and held them. "Everything is fine, Gram," I assured her. "Can't a guy come visit his grandmother without there being something wrong?"

"Of course you can, love," she said, the relief visible on her face. "Is the rest of the family coming later?"

"No, Gram, it'll be just me. I know I should have called first—"

"Nonsense. You know you don't need an invitation to visit. I was just surprised to see you, but you're always welcome. Now come inside and get warm."

I followed her inside and unshouldered my bag, leaving it on the floor by the coat rack just inside the door, then took off my coat and hung it on one of the empty pegs. Stepping into my grandmother's house was like stepping into the past. The living room had barely changed, looking much as it had during my visits as a child. Small and cozy, with antique wallpaper, overstuffed furniture and family photos on the fireplace mantle. But there was one thing missing. The Christmas tree.

"Your tree's not up, Gram," I said with obvious disappointment. "Are you waiting until Christmas Eve to put it up now?"

"I haven't put a tree up for years, young man, which you'd know if you came to visit more often."

I accepted her chastisement, then told her, "But it's not Christmas without a tree, Gram."

"I'm getting too old to put the tree up by myself, Elijah, and once you children were gone there didn't seem much point."

"But I'm here now," I told her. "And it's still Christmas Eve. There's still time. Please let me put the tree up, Gram."

Gram sighed. "All the decorations are packed away in the attic, and it would take much too long to find them. Besides, I didn't buy a tree."

I forged ahead, undaunted. "Mr. Nelson always has trees left on Christmas Eve. I could go see. He's still in the same spot, isn't he?"

"Well his son has taken over the business, but yes, it's still in the same place. But without decorations--"

"I'll buy new ones when I go out for the tree. It'll be fun, you'll see."

"All right," Gram gave in. "If it means that much to you."

"Thanks." I threw my arms around her and kissed her cheek. When I pulled away she was rubbing the spot I'd just kissed.

"I've never liked beards," she said with obvious disapproval, "especially on my grandson. You're such a handsome boy, Elijah. Why do you insist on covering your face up with those awful whiskers?"

I smiled good-naturedly. This wasn't the first time I'd heard this song. Mom had sent Gram a picture of me with the beard and I'd gotten an earful about her opinion on the subject. "The beard makes me look older, Gram."

"It certainly does, but I don't understand why you'd want that. Why are children always in such a hurry to grow up?"

"I'm not a child, Gram, I'm twenty-five."

Gram threw up her hands in surrender. "I don't know why I bother. You'll do whatever you want, no matter what I think." She looked toward the kitchen. "Did you eat on the plane?"

"No."

"Then you must be hungry. I've just made soup. Come and have some."

I had smelled Gram's homemade soup the minute I stepped inside, and its aroma had my stomach rumbling. "Thanks, Gram," I said, and followed her into her small, homey kitchen. I sat at the square table and Gram put a steaming bowl in front of me, along with several pieces of freshly-baked bread. I dug in without ceremony.

Gram was obviously pleased. "You always had a healthy appetite, even as a child, but you'd never know it by how skinny you are. You're not dieting, are you?"

"I actually am," I admitted. "I need to lose weight to play Iggy Pop."

"Iggy Who?" she asked.

I smiled. "Iggy Pop. He's a rock star, a very skinny one."

"Well I hope you're not going to make yourself ill for some movie."

"I'll be fine, Gram, don't worry. The studio will make sure I'm in good shape. They won't insure me if I'm not 100%."

"All right." She sat across from me with a cup of herbal tea, took a sip then said, "Elijah, you know I'm thrilled you're here, but I can't believe you'd want to spend Christmas Eve with your grandmother. Isn't there someone else you'd rather be with tonight, someone special?"

"I'm right where I want to be, Gram," I lied.

As much as I wanted to tell her the truth, how could I tell her that the special someone in my life was a married man, a married man with children? Even if Gram hadn't disapproved, even if she'd understood, I was still feeling the sting of Sean's refusal to spend Christmas with me and didn't want to think, much less talk about it. I still don't know why I asked him. Christmas was always for Christine and the girls. I knew that, had accepted it, but I thought maybe just this once Sean might make an exception. So I'd asked him. And he'd said no.

"I know that's not true," Gram said, "but I'm selfish enough to be glad you're here. It's hard with you and your brother and sister so far away."

"It'll be nice," I agreed, "just like when I was little." I finished my soup and brought my bowl to the sink. "I almost forgot. I brought you a box of those chocolates you love."

"I still love them," she said mournfully, "but I've had to give up chocolate. It just doesn't agree with me any more."

Having to give up chocolate? I couldn't imagine a worse fate.

"I'm sorry, Gram. I never thought...and now my gift is something you can't even enjoy. I'll have to get you something else. What would you like?"

"That's not necessary, Elijah."

"It is, Gram. You have to have a Christmas gift."

"There's nothing I need," she insisted.

"Christmas isn't for getting things you need. It's for getting things you want and wouldn't buy for yourself. So come on, the sky's the limit."

"There's nothing I want," Gram said.

"Come on, Mary," I said in my best Jimmy Stewart voice. "You just say the word and I'll lasso the moon and bring it down for you."

Gram's as big a movie buff as I am and she recognized the reference immediately. "I think that's even beyond your reach, Mr. Bailey," she said coyly.

I sat down again and leaned forward. "There has to be something you'd like, Gram. If I can get it, it's yours, anything at all."

She raised her hand and touched my cheek. "I'd like to see my grandson's clean-shaven face."

I smiled. "That's easy enough. I'm starting a film in January and the director doesn't want the beard, so I'll be shaving it off after the New Year."

"I'd liked to see it now."

"What?"

"If you're going to shave it off in January, you can shave it off now."

"But Gram—"

"You said I could have anything I wanted," she reminded me.

I frowned. "I don't remember you being this sneaky when I was a kid."

"Trust me, love, I was." Gram wore a satisfied smile. "So, do I get my Christmas present or not?"

"I said anything you wanted," I grumbled, "so yes, you'll get your present."

Gram clapped her hands together. "Wonderful. There's a scissor in the medicine cabinet, and your grandfather's old electric razor is in the vanity drawer."

"You know," I said, "if it wasn't for the fact that you had no idea I was coming, I'd swear you had this whole thing planned."

"Not planned," Gram answered, "but I've learned to take advantage of an opportunity when it presents itself."

Gram looked so pleased with herself that I couldn't be angry, and she _was_ right. I was going to have to lose the beard in a few weeks anyway, so what was the harm in doing it sooner? I got up from the table and trudged up the stairs to the bathroom.

Considering how long it had taken me to finally be able to grow a full beard, shaving it off wasn't as traumatic as I thought it would be, and I had to admit I'd missed the face I saw staring back at me from the bathroom mirror. I found myself thinking how happy Sean would be to see that face because he'd liked the beard even less than Gram, but then quickly put the thought out of my mind. No unhappy thoughts were going to spoil this holiday for me. I went downstairs and gave Gram her Christmas present. She liked it very much.

I was afraid I was going to have to go tree-hunting on foot, but Gram insisted I take her car. As I'd predicted, Nelson's lot was still a third full, giving me a lot of choices. Since I knew I'd have to take the tree down before I left, I chose a small one, hobbit-sized, then stopped at the CVS on South Clinton Street and picked up a tree stand, a string of lights and assorted boxes of decorations. As I headed back, just the thought of seeing the decorated tree in Gram's living room brightened my spirits.

******

I plugged in the lights and stepped back to admire my handiwork. White and red lights blinked on and off in three-second intervals, illuminating the balls and bells that adorned the tree's branches. "So, Gram?" I asked. "What do you think?"

"It's lovely," she said, "but all the time and expense for only a few days."

"It wasn't expensive and I enjoyed doing it. This house just wouldn't have been the same without a tree."

"You're right," Gram agreed. "Thank you, Elijah."

"You're welcome."

"I'm going to be selfish and ask for another gift," Gram said.

"Just name it."

"Will you go to Midnight Mass with me?"

"Of course."

Gram gave over and gave me a hug. "Thank you, love. It will be like old times."

I checked my watch. "It's only 10:30. Let's really make it like old times." I picked up the TV Guide from the coffee table. "_A Christmas Carol_ has got to be on some channel tonight. Why don't you make us some hot chocolate while I look for it and we can sit and watch it while we enjoy the tree."

Despite all Gram's protestations, I could see she was enjoying this trip to the past as much as I was. "All right," she said, heading for the kitchen. "I suppose you'll want marshmallows in yours?"

"You bet."

As she disappeared into the kitchen I heard her say, "Just like old times."

I'd barely opened the magazine to check the listings when the doorbell rang. "I'll get it, Gram." As I opened the door I called over my shoulder, "Are you expecting company?" and went I turned back I stopped dead.

"Merry Christmas, Elijah." Sean wiped his feet on the doormat and stepped across the threshold without invitation.

"Sean? How did you find me? And what are you doing here?"

"Finding you wasn't very difficult. I called around all the places I thought you might be, and when I couldn't find you I took a chance you'd be here. You've told me often enough how much you loved spending Christmas at your grandmother's. I got the address from your Mom."

"You came to Iowa based on nothing but a hunch? What if you'd been wrong?"

"Then I would have had a nice trip and gotten to see snow. But I wasn't wrong."

"Okay, you proved how well you know me. Now tell me why you came."

"I had to talk to you."

"We already talked."

"Please, Elijah, if you'll just let me say what I came here to say—"

"Who was at the door, Elijah?" Gram asked, coming back into the living room. She was carrying a tray with two cups, and stopped short when she saw Sean. "Hello," she said.

"Gram, this is Sean Astin. He and I were in _Lord of the Rings_ together. He was—"

"Your Samwise," Gram finished for me. "Yes, I remember. Don't leave him standing in the doorway. Take his coat." Sean took off his coat and I hung it on the peg next to mine. Gran put the tray down on the coffee table and went to Sean, offering her hand. "I'm very pleased to meet you, Sean."

Sean took her hand. "I'm very pleased to finally meet you, too, Mrs. Wood. Elijah's told me so much about you."

Gram nodded. "I wish I could say the same."

"I'm very sorry to barge in uninvited like this," Sean apologized, "but I had something to discuss with Elijah that couldn't wait."

If Gram thought it strange my co-star would travel to Iowa on Christmas Eve to talk to me, she gave no sign. "It's perfectly all right, Sean. I'll go upstairs, give you some privacy so you can talk."

"You don't have to do that, Gram," I protested. "Whatever Sean has to say can wait until I get home."

"Elijah, I know your mother didn't raise you to be this rude," Gram scolded me. "Sean, why don't you sit on the sofa. I've just made some hot chocolate. Please help yourself."

"That's very kind of you," Sean said. "Thank you." He stayed standing until Gram had gone upstairs, then settled himself on the sofa and picked up one of the cups. "Delicious," he said after the first sip. "Mini marshmallows."

I sat down next to him on the sofa, not bothering to disguise my annoyance. "I know you didn't come all this way for a cup of hot chocolate, Sean, now what the fuck are you doing here?"

"You shaved," Sean said, sounding surprised, as if he'd suddenly realized that the beard was gone.

"Nothing gets past you, does it, Irish?"

"Was it a spur of the moment decision?"

"If you must know, it was my present to Gram. She said it was the only thing she wanted for Christmas."

"Remind me to thank her."

"Cut the bullshit, Sean," I told him, my annoyance having escalated to anger. "I know you're pissed that I asked you to spend Christmas with me instead of Chris and the girls, but to come all the way here just to—"

"I'm not pissed, Elijah, I'm sorry. And I came here to apologize."

"You could have said yes, just this once, but instead you just dismissed the idea without considering my feelings. That hurt me, Sean."

"I know it did, and believe me, hurting you hurt me."

"So now you want to apologize?" Sean took my face in his hands, and the sensation of his fingers on my beardless face made me shiver. "Well you can't just say you're sorry and think it fixes everything—"

My words were cut off as Sean leaned forward and kissed me. Sean's a great kisser. His lips can turn me to jelly, and for that moment, while his lips were on mine, I forgot everything and just melted into the kiss. I came to my senses eventually and pulled away, asking, "Are you crazy, Sean? My grandmother's right upstairs!"

"I'm sorry," Sean said, "but kissing you was the only way I could get you to shut up long enough for me to get out what I came here to say."

"Fine. Whatever it is, just say it and go."

"Frodo was right."

"Frodo? What the fuck does Frodo have to do with anything?"

"Frodo was right," Sean repeated. "Remember when he told Sam he couldn't go with him to the Undying Lands?"

I shook my head, incredulous. "You've really lost it, Astin. Our lives are falling apart and you want to discuss Tolkien?"

Sean continued, completely unfazed by my interruption. "When Sam wants to go with him, Frodo tells him he has to stay behind. Frodo says, _'You can't be always torn in two.'_ He was right, Elijah. I've been torn in two for too long, and I just can't live that way any more."

My stomach clutched. _He's going to end it_, I thought. _He's come all this way just to say goodbye_.

"I've known for a long time that things can't continue the way they've been," Sean went on. "I can't go on living in two worlds. It's not fair to me or to you."

My voice was choked with emotion. "So you've decided to choose between us?"

Sean shook his head. "I've already made my choice, Elwood. I chose you."

I was sure I must have heard him wrong. "You chose me?"

"Yes, I chose you. I tried to fight what my heart was telling me to do, but I can't do that any longer. You're the person I want to share my life with."

"What about the girls? You said you couldn't leave them, that they still needed you."

Sean smiled. "They'll always need me, and I'll always be there for them, even if I'm not living with their mother."

"Chris must have freaked when you told her about us."

"She already knew, Lij. Do you think after all the years she's lived with me that she couldn't tell there was something going on, that she couldn't see how much I care for you?"

"What about the girls?" I asked again. "This will be so confusing for them."

"I think Ally's old enough to understand, and Chris and I will explain it to Lizzie and Isabella when the time is right. At least you're not a stranger. All my girls already love their Uncle Lijah."

"You need to be sure, Sean. Think of what you'll be giving up."

"I'd rather concentrate on what I'll be getting." Sean frowned. "Are you trying to talk me out of it? I thought this was what you wanted, for us to be together all the time."

"It is what I want. I just don't want you to be sorry."

"I couldn't ever be sorry, baby. All my life I've done the right thing, put other people first, done what's best for them. I think I've finally earned the right to be a little selfish, to do what's best for me. And what's best for me, Elijah Jordan Wood, is you."

Sean opened his arms and I fell into them, my body going limp as he lifted me up and into his lap. When our mouths met this time, it was in a deep, lingering kiss that would have gone on forever if Gran hadn't come downstairs.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," she said softly, standing at the bottom of the stairs, "but if we don't leave now there won't be any seats left and we'll have to stand at the back of the church."

I flushed and quickly slid off Sean's lap. "Look, Gran," I began, but she only smiled.

"Elijah and I are going to Midnight Mass," Gran said to Sean. "Would you like to come with us?"

"Gran, I don't think Sean wants to--"

"I'd like that very much, Mrs. Wood," Sean told her, getting up from the couch.

I touched his arm. "Sean, you don't have to."

"I know, but I want to," Sean said. "I'm a very lucky man, and I'd like to give thanks for all the blessings in my life."

"Going to Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve is a Wood Family tradition," Gram told Sean as he helped her on with her coat. "Elijah started coming with us when he was about three, although he mostly fidgeted all the while he was there."

"Things haven't changed much," Sean told her with a quick wink in my direction. "He still has trouble sitting still."

Standing in my grandmother's house, listening to her discuss my childhood shortcomings with my lover was surreal, but not unpleasant. Sean and Gram looked so comfortable together, chatting conspiratorially as if they'd known each other for years. "I hope I'll be seeing you again, Sean," Gran said. "Perhaps the next time Elijah comes to visit?" Sean took Gram's arm and they walked out together.

I'd come to Iowa to revisit my past, but what I'd found here was my future. It's nice to know that even when you think you have everything figured out, life can still surprise you.


End file.
